Brit and Nicki at @ the 2011 Billboard awards

Dear Britney,

The only reason I sped through the DVR recording of the Billboard awards was so I can see you perform with the infamous (at least in the high school set) Nicki Minaj. Your 45-second performance, if you call walking down the stage lip syncing your new single, a "performance." I mean, I was expecting a little watermelon-watermelon action since lip syncing is the standard for you, but where was the glitter? Where was the attitude? Where was the showmanship that I love you for? The billing played up the circumstance, but you were sadly missing the pomp.

You looked uncomfortable, like you stepped on some boo-boo. Check out that fake smile.



Perhaps you were worn out after your opening romp through Rihanna's hit single S&M. I mean any person would be tired after a pillow fight involving whips and chains. But you're not a normal person--you're Britney! Anyone who saw the show could see Rihanna was the main domme in that set, not you.

Love,
your disappointed Resalin

TAKE ME TO THE CIRCUS.

My Brit-hater friend , who shall remain nameless per her request, texted me this morning to tell me that Brit's tour bus was parked in Dallas. I wanna go dammit!

While my b-fri Kat Marshall dances it up at the concert, I'll be schlepping steaks and lobsters to rich legislators and lobbyists who publicly denounce Ms. Spears but still secretly dream of doing the nasty with her.

I hate my life.

Happy Fucking Birthday Britney!

Britney Jean Spears turned 27 today. She is an adult and has been legal for nine years now. She’s not a girl, but according to the judges, she’s still not a woman and not adult enough to make any decisions: She can’t drive; She has no say in the hiring and firing of her personnel; She can’t freely spend her fortune. And, based on her new album, the 27-year-old can’t say “fuck” in the studio either.

Fuck: It’s probably one of my favorite words and much to my mommy’s chagrin, one I use quite often. It’s also in Brit’s lexicon as she dropped the F-bomb in the MTV tell-all. But there was no cursing, none, in Circus. No damn, hell, shit. Nothing. She can sing about partying all night, beating up photogs, and even phone sex, but when it comes to using four-letter words, Jive makes her use shitty PG stand-ins like “effing” and “fugly.” The sixth track, If You Seek Amy, is a three-minute fuckimism. (Say the phrase “If You Seek Amy” quickly enough and you’ll hear what I mean).

I’m not pro-potty word. You don’t need use them to have a hit song or to purport an edgy image. (We know that Brit can do edgy quite well). I know replacements are necessary, especially when children are present, but they need to stay in Dodge minivans. There’s no place for them in pop culture.

I would have to agree with many of the critiques out there and say that Circus is almost as good as Blackout. The ballads—saccharine, trite, and badly executed—severely drag the greatness factor down. I would add Kill the Lights, Circus, Phonography, Shattered Glass (the gay man’s perfect post break-up song and this album’s Stronger), and Unusual You to her second Greatest Hits album.

I’m glad that Justine and I went to Virgin at midnight to buy the album and I know that sometime soon, Circus will be on and I’ll be dancing around in my bra and panties, joyously singing along—even during the not-so naughty parts.

The BRIT is BACK.

What can I say besides I told you so!

It's not surprising that Brit's team decided to piggyback off the video's debut before releasing "Womanizer" on iTunes. We all know that she's more of a performer than a vocalist anyways.

At last...WOMANIZER

Britney's new single from her upcoming album (set to drop on her birthday) is certainly catchy and that's putting it kindly. It's the most infectious, no, most ear-worming of all her singles. It enters the ear canal, tunnels into the cerebellum and sets up house. Before the second chorus is over, the song has house plants, matching bathmats, and plastic covering on the couches. The beast is a squatter.

And I consider myself a loyal Britney fan.

It's not the droning beat (if you can even call it that. It's more like a buzzing airplane than a beat)
that bothers me. It's the fact that "womanizer" is half-sung/half-spoken 40 times in three minutes.

Chorus: Womanizer, Wo-womanizer, You're a womanizer, Oh--Womanizer, Oh--You're a Wo-womanizer,
You, You-you are, You, You-you are,
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer.
Boy don't try to front, I know-know just what you are.
Boy don't try to front, I know-know just what you are.
You, (you got me going), You, oh so slimy.
But I can't do it. You Womanizer.

Boy don't try to front, I know-know just what you are.
Boy don't try to front, I know-know just what you are.

You say I'm crazy, I got you crazy.
You're nothing but a womanizer.

Seriously?

AND. If you count the title, "Womanizer" (shocking!), it's 41 times.